How to get your new shy flatmate to come out of their room

Shy flatmate not showing their face about the place?

Imagine the scenario, you’ve done the casting for your new flatmate, and he/she seemed perfectly bubbly and just the right match at the time, but then as soon as they moved in it was as if they wouldn’t say boo to a goose. After that, there was that time you caught them sneaking down the hallway to make it into the bathroom hoping no-one would see them.


Ways to involve them more in communal life

Communal life isn’t always easy, all of the time. But one way to bring new housemates out of their shell can be to tie communal responsibilities, like cleaning plans or other duties, in with time for socialising as a house. How about suggesting a communal dinner all together once or twice a week (even if your housemates cooking skills aren’t exactly Michelin-star standard). Your shy roommate may not like leaving out of their room, but in the end they need to eat. Appealing to the stomach is always a good way to break the ice.


Similarly, find out what your housemate’s interests are, try and work out some areas of mutual interest and try and involve them in activities outside of the house. Factor in whole-house activities on a regular or semi-regular basis to get your shy flatmate not only out of their room but out of the house and interacting.

As hard as it may be for them, bringing them step-by-step out of their comfort zone can never be a bad idea. And if all else fails, most people can be persuaded to drink a cheeky drink at the local pub or bar!

Good old-fashioned communication

Finally, it sounds a bit cliché but why not get around the problem with some good old-fashioned communication?


Make an effort to find out the likes and dislikes of your housemate and slowly work out ways of making them feel more comfortable around the rest of your roommates.


Encourage them to get involved in things and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the difference it makes!

You can’t expect all your housemates to be extroverts but it is annoying when people aren’t contributing socially to the flat sharing. Be gentle, kind and persistent and bring your flatmates out of their shell and into your flat sharing community!

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