Sorry flatmates. It’s autumn, and that means it’s spider season. But it gets worse!
Blame climate change or whatever, but there’s a terrifying new wave of creepy crawlies hatching, spawning and swarming into the South of England. They can’t wait to watch you sleeping, so you might as well meet them here first.
The (huge) house spider
Let’s start with the familiar. You have probably seen this guy before. He comes back every year. “Did you miss me?” he whispers, dipping his long legs in your sleeping ear.
False Widow
The only good thing about this spider is that it isn’t the Black Widow. Watch out for lovely love bites that turn your limbs numb and make your heart hurt. Avoid.
Tube Web Spider
This spider creates a little tube from which to pounce on its slightly less scary prey of cockroaches and wasps. Remind you of anyone? *Cough* SHELOB *cough*?? Did we mention it’s 22cm big? Look at your hand. Sweet dreams.
Cardinal
This spider can measure 12cm. Unlike the Tube Web which is, at least, a recent and rare horror in the UK, the Cardinal is a native spookster. Pleaseeee just leave us alone, Cardinal.
